Time with the Sandman

Shelley is spending more time with the Sandman each day, grateful for the comfort sleep brings to her dear, tired body. Understandably, she also has very little appetite. Her tummy is still swollen but has not increased significantly. I am told the reason more fluid is not accumulating is that her body is probably absorbing the fluid which likely is contributing to her tiredness and daily decline. The palliative doctor will visit next week and make a decision then about whether or not to attempt withdrawal of the fluid again. In order to keep the pain at bay and reduce the "break through meds" Shelley requires each day, her slow release pain meds are being increased.

Someone recently asked me how I managed to write on the blog. She wondered "if it was a release for me?" I've pondered her question for a couple of days before the answer presented itself. The blog helps me know, as I continue to hold Shelley, that I am not alone. I know I have a vast community holding her with me and that puts a great deal of gratitude beside the profound ache in my heart. And - when I read your communications to her, I am reminded again and again of how much she has blessed all of us by her presence in our lives. It is these things that sustain.