Another transition

Yesterday morning at 8:30, after sharing a demi-tasse cup of tea together and reminiscing about the beginnings of our morning ritual of tea in bed for the past 10 years, in the act of turning her to her side Shelley, slipped instantly into a coma. Many women friends now visit round the clock to stand vigil with me. She is comfortable and still fairly strong thus will probably have a few more days. However, throughout this whole journey she has proven to be unique,(including the way she fell into a coma yesterday morning) and could well have other plans.

I will let you know when she has decided to take her leave. Until then, I will be at her side and away from the blog.

Time with grandchildren

Shelley is still "fully present" with us. Yesterday, she spent a few minutes with each of the five grandchildren. The picture captures a tender moment with Ashley, the oldest grandchild. Shelley has been a "second grannie" to her since the day she was born.

Vigil Time

I am now administering Shelley's drugs with syringes. She did not eat yesterday and only had a few sips of water. Even while so much energy is being consumed to wend her way through these last days, she is still clear headed when awake. She is also mostly free of pain.

The VON now comes morning and late evening to check on her and to help with anything that needs to be done re: getting ready for the day or getting ready for the night.

My/our friend, Marie Claire, told me yesterday that she has taken a week's vacation next week so that either she or her partner can be here round the clock with me. They think that "familiar faces" would be better than having a private nurse come in. Tears still well up whenever I think about this incredible act of compassion and their insistent/persistent/constant love and care around us both. Ann also continues to be present daily. She is often running errands for me and has been a link to health-care equipment stores buying such things as wonderful sheep-skin booties for Shelley that have made such a difference for her sore feet.

A friend recently wrote that "it is as hard staying open to death as it is keeping open to love but they are related to each other aren't they."

In our quiet home filled with loving energy, we are staying open to death and keeping open to love.

Shelley's Hands

A former student recently requested a picture of Shelley's hands; hands that held many a fledgling then shooed them from the nest that they too might go and make a difference in the world. I am grateful for her request as I too now have a picture of them. I thought that some of you also might like one.

In these last days, Shelley's spirit has become quiet and gentle. Last night, in a very soft voice she said, "I have strength to do this if you have strength to do this." In that moment, both our wells were filled.

Also...

We wanted you to know that Shelley is still quite strong and will likely be given another two to three weeks.

Roho Mattress Arrives

Last night's sleep was so much better as Shelley's "Roho Mattress" arrived making it unnecessary to turn her every couple of hours through the night. The mattress distributes pressure evenly throughout her body. Their are signs of a bed sore beginning which, we trust, the Roho will prevent from further developing so that it can heal on its own.

In a few days, a home care worker will come every morning to help me with Shelley's "spa times." O. T. was here yesterday with lots of tips to make life easier, Monica spent two hours with us checking Shelley over and waiting with her for the new mattress to arrive, and a V.O.N. (who comes daily) was also here for an hour. Such an amazing amount of support!

We both are settling in for this gentle time continuing to be grateful for what has been and appreciative of the ongoing love and care that surrounds us.

Moving the Day-Bed

Today we moved Shelley's "day bed" into our living room. We hope to have an air mattress soon that will help in the prevention of bed sores. I have a cot beside her so I can keep an eye on her throughout the night. She sleeps most of the time and, although every movement exhausts her, continues to remain mostly comfortable. Sadly, she no longer is able to receive visitors. A very quiet household is what she now seeks as she wends her way through this part of her journey. How very quickly life has changed for us.